Tim and Lori’s Wedding

June 29, 2007

I prepared this just in case I had an opportunity to say a few words at your wedding, but it never happened. I thought I would type it up from the card that I have had in Bible since then, so you can see what I was going to say.

This is truly a fantastic time of my life! I get to see my son marry a person that not only he, but all of us have fallen in love with – Lori! I can’t speak highly enough of her and her wonderful traits that will cement your relationship for all time. I also want to tell you Tim how proud your Mom and I are of you – remaking your life, overcoming the struggle of being a single parent, working hard to make a family filled with love and now finding the perfect match and mate for the rest of your life.

Well, I won’t drag on and on sentimentally here, but I thought that since I am the “old man” I should pass on a few words of advice. I don’t claim to have a corner on any special secrets or wisdom about life, but there are three fantastic things that I have learned from the Bible over the years that I think would be great to pass on as you guys start your life together.

When your Mom and I went to high school together a million years ago, we had an old English teacher that taught not only us, but also all my brothers. She always taught us ways to remember important things using little methods of mnemonics – words that were actually abbreviations for words that had greater meanings. I want to use that idea with a word that you should remember from your wedding. The word is “APE”. Not a very beautiful word, or romantic word, but it should be memorable. Now here goes the meaning behind the letters in the word – A-P-E:

It seems to me that there are 3 very important things in a marriage as well as in any individual’s life that can go a long way in making for a happy life, a blessed family, and fond memories. In summary they are: 1) the type of attitude you have in life and about life, 2) what your ideas about prosperity and money are, and most importantly, 3) where you will spend not only these few fleeting moment on this earth, but where you will spend eternity. These three Bible verses seemed to capture the nut and kernel of all three of these major constructs:

A – Attitude. I read this little jingle once that seemed to say an awful lot about the kind of attitude that a person should have about life. “As you travel down life’s pathway, may this ever be your goal. Keep your eye upon the donut and not upon the hole”. It is how you think about life that matters. Two people can experience the same events and will curse and swear at the experience, and the other will take it in and find a way to be blessed by that experience, an opportunity to grow. It is all in your head! It is your attitude about life that matters. If you have an attitude of gratitude about life, I guarantee that you will be blessed beyond your wildest imagination! The sums it up so succinctly when it says in Proverbs 23:7 “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he…”. Or as the old St. Olaf Hockey coach, Whitey Aase used to say, “Attitude is Altitude”. Stay out of the dumps!! It is your choice. You need to happen to life, don’t let life happen to you.

P – Prosperity. We can and should be responsible citizens, working for a living, making our way through life, not sucking off the state as so many do. Many people can take the far extreme and become workaholics, spending their life amassing wealth, only to die before they can enjoy it, and enjoy those that they love. We need to know what things we need to strive for above all others, and we must learn that it is not money. In fact, the Bible tells us that if we focus on the important things in life, the other thinks like wealth will follow. Matthew 6:33 says it best, “but strive first for the Kingdom of Heaven, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you as well.” Did you get that? Seek God and Godly things in life, don’t cheat, be honest, witness about Christ and your faith, and all the other stuff will follow – don’t worry about it – it will just come! Trust it! In fact since you know as well as the rest of us that money and thinks cause nothings but worry – we need to make our seeking for the Kingdom things, knowing and not worrying that they money things will follow as a blessing from God. Like the old saying – “Worry about Nothing, Pray about Everything!”

E – Eternity. Lastly, but most importantly is the ultimate question – where will you spend eternity. It is also your choice. Just like your attitude about life is your choice, and how you spend you time is your choice – you also can accept Christ as your Savior and spent eternity in heaven or reject him, and go nowhere, or somewhere so horrible you don’t want to think about it! Matthew 16:26 says, “What will it profit them if they gain the whole world, but forfeit their soul?” This is the primary question we all have to ask. We can’t slip and slide on the path. We need to walk the narrow path and get there with our loved ones for all eternity, with the Lord.

There they are, the APE that you can keep and play with all of your lives. May God richly bless you both, as well as Kayla and Rylie in their new family with you both.

Al Freeland