I'm sad to announce the Ronald is going through a series of chemo treatments and has lost his trademark hair. Ronald McDonald has been diagnosed with an incurable cancer, which will force all McDonalds to close their doors indefinitely. We're told that in addition to the hair loss, Ronald's skill will soon turn a yellow/orangish, human looking hue. It's been said that with a shaved head and normal looking skin, this clown will soon look like Michael Stipes of REM. Ronald can be viewed in his glass coffin at the Northfield McDonalds.

Honestly...I was at the Mc D's tonight getting my $1 new releases from the Red Box when I overhead some high school Mc D's employee's laughing at Ronald behind his glass display. They said that someone had taken his wig and dudes had been spotted around the high school all week wearing it. That's good humor. I'd hit that wig if it came my way.

Never noticed until now how big his collar is and just how freaky clowns are. Nice job with the lip stick Ron.