City should issue Christmas light removal ordinance


By Tim Freeland - Posted on 02 February 2008

christmas lights

As I drove home last night I noticed that many people still had their Christmas lights on. I found this to be odd. I took a detour and drove through every city street for a few hours to count up just how many people were "burning" up our natural resources at 3am on Feb. 2nd. I found that 35 homes were "burning" traditional multi-colored lights, while 17 "burned" white lights that might be considered a year-round decoration and exempt from the ordinance.

I asked myself, why would these people not turn off their lights shortly after the respective holiday. Do they have it out for our natural resources? Did they forget about them? Are they lazy? Or maybe just overly exited about Christmas.

Regardless, I believe sporadic light displays makes the city look tacky. I admit that I throw up a few strings of LED lights during the week of Christmas to join the lighting-collective, but it should be all for one, one for all.

I propose a city ordinance that would ban the "burning" of multi-colored Christmas lights after January 31st of each year. Violators would be mailed a warning letter giving them 7 days to remove. After that time, if not in compliance, a $300 fine would be issued.

All fines would be mailed directly to me.

Stories I'm working on:

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What are you doing driving around at 3 am looking to see which houses are still decorated for Christmas and which are not? Your 3 am trip is quite worrisome! Aren't you also harming the environment burning your gas in this way? What happened to freedom of expression? Get a life!

I was going to point this out at the bottom of my story, but this is the first in my "Funny Tim" category, which includes completely made up commentary.  I know, I'm not the first to do this....I just think it's good comical relief.  There..I won't mention it again. 

 Oh, I was driving my bike around.  

T. Allan Michael Freeland

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