Oh, the agony of being left handed. I've spent my life fighting a prejudice toward left handed people. It was there in pre-school when my scissors didn't work, was there in college when I had to use "right handed" decks of cards and now, at work, where the standard keyboard and mouse are tailored for the righty.

Wait..deck of cards? That's right. Just to prove my point, I'll show you just how subtitle this discrimination is. Most people wouldn't even think something as simple as a deck of cards was made for right hand use, but just look at the pictures below and you'll see exactly what I mean. I'm not kidding. One can't read the card indices when fanned with the left hand.

Over the years, I have become accustom to picking out a lefty. I can see them a mile away. Why, well...because of that awful left handed writing hook. You've seen it, where we have to look all gimpy when writing. There's really no way around this if we want to see what we're writing. Ask a lefty if they get pen or pencil on the base of their hand. Actually, when erasable ink came out, my hand would be covered in ink.

Here is a list of items that are automatically made for the right hander, and not the left hander.

• Bowling balls
• Guns
• Fishing rods (now they come with inter-changeable reels)
• Guitars
• Most instruments
• Controls in the driver seat of a car.
• Can openers
• Mice (computer mouse)
• Scissors
• Playing cards
• Golf clubs
• Baseball gloves
• Most kitchen utensils
• Spiral bound notebooks and paper pads
• One could even say the standard clock is bias.

Funny story

About 10 years ago, Nerf came out with this aerodynamic football that had curves carved into it for a better spiral throw. Problem is, the curves were meant to assist the right handed hurler, not the lefty. I was at the lake with some friends who were throwing this around. I picked up the ball and went to riffle of my usual perfect spiral, but it died in the air like a lame duck. This is when I learned that left handed prejudice had been taken to a new low.

Left Handed Fascinating Facts (grabbed from some random website)

• Most left-handers draw figures facing to the right.
• There is a high tendency in twins for one to be left-handed
• Left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater.
• Left-handers excel particularly in tennis, baseball, swimming and fencing.
• Left-handers usually reach puberty 4 to 5 months after right-handers
• 4 of the 5 original designers of the Macintosh computer were left-handed
• Left-handers are generally more intelligent, better looking, imaginative and multi-talented than right handers - based on discussions among lefty's.

Logistics 

I know it's a numbers and cost thing. Most people are right handed, so why produce something for a left hander. But, day in and day out, we need to constantly find ways to adapt to the right handed man's world. Sometimes, it even poses a safety concern. But, I'm proud to be left handed. It's like our own little everyday club. And, I will go on the records as saying that lefties are definitely different than the right. I can't nail down the specifics, but they say that the left side of the body is controlled by the right side of the brain. The right brain has certain artistic and creative lobes not found on the left. Left handers seem to be more creative, artistic and dynamic thinkers. We are also more quirky and socially slow. Lefties are also know to be good leaders. A majority of past presidents of the US are left handed, including Clinton, Bush Sr, Regan, Ford and Truman...and I'll just add Obama to the list right now. So, please let me know if you're a left hander and I'll add you to my comprehensive list of left handed people that I keep.

Finally

Check out this beer bottle label.  It's "Left Hand Brewing Company".  It captures BEER, LEFT HANDED and BLACK JACK.  Three of my very favorite things.

Story by VIV SAVAGE

Lester Stovold was just one year from retirement when I met with him to discuss his latest release of his course book "Clog With Me. Danish Clog Technique for the Advanced Beginner, Rev 2.4". Stovold had immersed himself in the art since he took up the study his freshman year at Iowa State, some 39 years ago.

"Not having a major and needing to fulfill 3 courses of art, I first took the class as a joke. I thought it would be a great way to meet chicks while getting a little exercise," Lester explained. "I had no idea I'd spend 39 friggin' years of my life wearing these, no-arch-supporting splinter machines."

He seemed light hearted at first about his freakish knowledge of the art, being able seamlessly rattle off 20 authentic Danish manufactures of clogs, 28 world renown masters, 17 clog dance style variations as well as his ability to shuffle of a jig that would put Danish clog star Bjorn Sir Branson to shame.

"Some people work this hard and are recognized on the street by the general public. All I get is an occasional cartoon rendition of me dancing in the nude on the walls of the guys bathroom stalls. This is a dying art it is actually kinda embarassing. What have I done," as Stovold looked down in disgust. "People will go to bars and do that <explicative> chicken dance while some lousy polka band comes off as rock stars. Those lousy Germans shouldn't have all the fun. Would it kill the college kids to try a little clog dance at their favorite watering hole now and then!"

I reminded Lester that he has spent seven years learning to make an authentic clog in Denmark. That he was the foremost authority on the art in the upper mid-west and most importantly beat the visiting Norwegian princess in a clog-off back in 2005.

Lester Stovold finished his interview saying "My book is boring, the dance is not graceful. The shoes are uncomfortable and I've wasted my entire life."

I'm sad to announce the Ronald is going through a series of chemo treatments and has lost his trademark hair. Ronald McDonald has been diagnosed with an incurable cancer, which will force all McDonalds to close their doors indefinitely. We're told that in addition to the hair loss, Ronald's skill will soon turn a yellow/orangish, human looking hue. It's been said that with a shaved head and normal looking skin, this clown will soon look like Michael Stipes of REM. Ronald can be viewed in his glass coffin at the Northfield McDonalds.

Honestly...I was at the Mc D's tonight getting my $1 new releases from the Red Box when I overhead some high school Mc D's employee's laughing at Ronald behind his glass display. They said that someone had taken his wig and dudes had been spotted around the high school all week wearing it. That's good humor. I'd hit that wig if it came my way.

Never noticed until now how big his collar is and just how freaky clowns are. Nice job with the lip stick Ron.

   DUNDAS - A little after 2pm yesterday plastic pellets and large stones were being hurled through Dundas streets.   It all started a few weeks ago when local resident Willie Mason saw a pack of suspicious racoon's scouting the corn in his sparrow feeders. 

"I seen them's creeping up and sniffin' around places they shouln't be sniffin," Willie explained.  "We could tells they were looking for food, whether it was in our trash or in our home made bird feeders.  Something didn't smell right."

Willie and his wife Zee prepared for battle.  Willie started to warn neighbors on Hester Street while Zee called to her friends on the Mill Preservation Society.  Willie had purchased an air pellet gun from Kmart in the early 80's and it was about to get it's first use.   

On Tuesday, around 2:13, a band of 3 masked racoon's approached Don's Corner Bar from the east on Railway Street while 2 approached from the west.  Entering the garbage corral in the back of the bar, the three robbers began their search for fried food left overs and peanut shells.  The other two racoon's kept guard in the street.  They were aggressive in their search, ripping through trash bags and trying to break into the mother load: the barrel of used fry-oil.  They were set on soaking up 45 gallons of pure deep-fry nirvana but could not get through the locked canister top. 

When taking a cigarette break on the opposite side, Don Cruise sensed something was wrong.  He heard wrastling and commotion coming from areas that shouldn't have coming.  When he made eye contact with the masked bandits, they began to flee.  He began to throw rocks.  Unable to make contact with any bandits, Willie came to the rescue, rattling off some 23 rounds of little plastic pellets.   Two 'coons were hit, twitching and running as they took in the sting. 

"Doubt we'll be seeing them around this block anytime soon," Willie gleamed, "and hopefully they won't try to mess with the citizens of Dundas' garbage anytime soon!"

This is the logo from the staffing department at the State of Minnesota. I've always noticed that there was a left facing human profile in the eastern border of our state. I've always meant to do something artistically to bring out this face. I ran across this logo and BAM, there it is. Someone has already done it. So, now you'll see it. Every time you see the state map now, this just might stick out for you.

Last Tuesday Brad Pitt's latest movie came to DVD. "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" is quite the title and a pain to type (twice). This is the movie that I based the 2007 DJJD button on. I was expecting the movie to be a smashing success in town as Hollywood's biggest male actor of the century portrays Jesse James. I used the font, parchment theme and art clips from the original Warner Brother's website and trailer to reflect the theme of the button. There were even committee members trying to get Brad to make an appearance last year as the movie came out just weeks after the celebration. It would have been a wonderful promotion and a news story that we be sure to make the national wire. Nothing became of it.

The movie came and silently went through Southgate Cinema last year. I was unable to see it during it's short stay. I heard that Brad Pitt played Jesse to the tee and that Casey Aflack was Oscar-worthy.

On Tuesday I went to 'Movie Gallery' to rent it. They informed me that they were not carrying it as they were having "disputes" with their movie vendor over it. On Friday, I was told they weren't going to be carrying it. I then went to Mr. Movies and they only had 3 copies, all of which were out. THEN, the nerd in me went to Target to buy it. They had one little spot for it, and those were all gone. Usually, when a new movie comes out, Target has 10 spots for each movie. It appeared as if they only ordered 10 copies. Lastly, I went to Mc Donald's Redbox without any luck. To this day, I can't tell if they even carry it. I didn't even think to check Cub foods video rental box.

No one seemed to calculate the demand for a movie with significant Northfield ties, played by Brad Pitt. Of any city, wouldn't the distribution people think to double up on their volumes in Northfield Minnesota?

  NORTHFIELD ­- A semi-official report on the driving skills of Northfield residents was released today by a local independent special-interest group. A group made up of three members of Hunt & Gun Club Local #301 say they have had enough. They are fed up with the inadequate driving skills of folks in this town and they are taking public awareness into their own hands.

“We set up in our lawn chairs on the corner of Woodley and Division two Saturday night’s in a row and started keeping tabs on stop violations,” said Bob Slingan. “Ernie kept a tick sheet of waver-on-er’s as he calls them, Brian kept track of those dead stops, where no one is willing to go first, and I just counted the farmer stops (rolling stops). We started around 8pm and kept going until the “Old Swill” was gone.”

The following day, when the headache were gone, they would tally up the ticks. To their surprise, 334 of the 375 drivers watched were unable to come to a complete stop and properly continue in the correct order, as stated by the state’s yielding laws. It is because of this, we have decided to assist them in educating the general public on what seems to be a misconceptions on driving law and etiquette. We hope getting out the word out through this simple top ten list will might have some trickle-down-effect as people slowly and gradually pick up on better methods of transportation over those crumbling roads we call home.

Top 10 Things to Remember When Driving in Northfield

1. When 4-way stopping, if your wheels stop rolling before another drivers, you go first. Feel free to post this one of your dash. Please, no more waving cars on.
2. Obey the speed limit. Third means 30, no less. 45 does not mean 41.
3. When a light turns yellow, try to make the light if possible. Slamming on the brakes to avoid being in the intersection when it turns red could cause an accident.
4. If you are old, please don’t drive.
5. If you have any doubt that you were first at a 4-way first stop, just go. No waving or just hesitation please.
6. Feel free to go slower if it’s icing out, not when it’s raining.
7. If you’re a slow driver, please don’t drive.
8. If you’re a senior in high school, write on your car windows and leave it on for a few years.
9. If your vehicle is crappy, just don’t drive it. It just looks tacky.
10. If you ever get caught in a wave-down at a 4-way stop, you know you’re a Northfielder.

NORTHFIELD - Why does the first DJJD button read “3^rd Annual”? In 1948, the Northfield Jaycees decided to dedicate one day of their Fall Festival to defeating Jesse James and his gang. This day would include a western theme and re-enactments of the infamous bank raid. Although this was the Jaycees 3^rd year having the Fall Festival, it was the first ever mention of a Jesse James Day. The 1948 button featured a “deputy” star along with period art work, hand drawn font and the words “Jesse James Day”. For years to follow, the “Fall Festival” and “Jesse James” wording would be promoted together on buttons until the “Jesse James” part grew and the “Defeat” was added years later, eventually knocking the “Fall Festival” right off the button. This year will commemorate the 60^th year since Northfield began to celebrate the defeat of the most notorious gang of bank robbers to wield a firearm this side of the river.

I have been a die-hard fan of the celebration since I was a young kid and have collected buttons just as long. I’ve grown to consider myself a DJJD button expert. In 2008, I was set on pitching my button idea and having it come to fruition. Currently, as a DJJD committee member I knew who I needed to sell my 2008 button concept to: The committee General Chairman Brad Ness, the “gang” re-enactment leader and 2007 Joseph Lee Heywood award recipient, Chip Demann and Northfield Historical Society Executive Director Hayes Scriven. I’ve always wanted to do a “flash back” button. The 1948 button was always one of my favorite antique button because of its small hand-drawn art and font. I was also especially fond of its “deputy” star layout. So, I visited Hayes this past November, we took the original 1948 out of the display case and captured a high resolution scan of it. I then had my friend R. Jeff Smith, a Photoshop Pro render a version of the old button, changing the celebration name, adding an "s" to "day", replicating the art, removing "Jaycees", making it the 60th annual, changing the date and adding the current year to 1948. While trying to copy the old type font exactly, we were unable to find anything to match. After consulting with a type-face/font expert, we learned that the entire original button was hand drawn. Including the letters and numbers. So, much to my disappointment, we had to settle for a "close-enough" font instead the identical type-face.

Eleven thousand of this years button will be printed at Engage Print this week along with the standard numbering system in black ink. We will also print around 400 buttons with "Royalty" on them instead of the numbers. Guess what event these are used for? Because the initial white paper had yellowed over the years, I chose to print on a slightly off white paper, so as to look identical to the original. Much attention to detail was taken to make this button appear identical to the original, even the small imperfections that can be seen up close.

In the world of collecting DJJD buttons, 1948 is a rare find. Ironically, the night I was to introduce my prototype to Brad, Hayes and Chip at the December committee meeting, my dream came true. I became the proud owner of my very own 1948 button, thanks to the genius they call eBay. My design was well accepted and I was given the green light on my design for the 2nd year in a row. To procure a 1948 button and to be named the designer of the 2008 DJJD button all in one day was the honor of a life time.

On Saturday September 6th, 2008, the most heavily attended day of the festival, I will walk around town only to look at all the people wearing my button-child. Thousands of attendees will not even realizes the significance of that $4 collectable. Heck, if it were any prior year and I saw anyone wearing a button with a red star, I would be jealous with envy at their 1948 gem. This year, everyone will be wearing a gem.

It wasn’t his dream job, but it was close enough. Kyle Lambert first took the job because he considered himself a people-person with a lot of spirit.

“What other job do you get to stand outside to yell and wave at every single person for 10 hours”, Kyle said, “I don’t have a boss looking right over my shoulder, I would get a tan if it were summer and the fresh air is ok, when it’s above zero”.

This time of year, you’ll see them on many street corners waving down cars with a grin, barely missing a single opportunity to make eye contact and spread tax-time cheer. Yes, it’s an advertising ploy, but since this tax-prep service first began their marketing campaign in 2002, people have grown to see these creepy living statues as the "rite of tax time".

Larry Hrewinskiczek, a local pizza delivery driver travels past Kyle a few times an hour. “At first he was a little annoying. I mean, sometimes I just want to sit back and enjoy a smoke and some tunes on my way to deliver a 'za, but I started to feel like I needed to wave and smile back every time I pass. But then I found myself enjoying the interaction. Like I have a friend cheering me on as I drive. The statue guy actually knows my car now. Yesterday I did the “shave and a haircut” deal with my horn and he pumped his fist in response two times. I think I might have made a friend”.

Kyle has been picketing the highway four winter tax seasons now. He admits that it gets boring during the 5 morning hours, but drinks a lot of Dr. Peper and listens to his headphones to get him to evening rush. He considers himself a waving-veteran.

“I never miss a single car. My goal is to go home and tell my room mates about another perfect day. Sometimes you need to get both hands going to get drives in each direction. One time, there was a car hidden behind a passing semi. But, I got that driver in his rear view after passing. Close call! One time some high school kids tried to hit me with cans full of chew spit. They missed but I would have taken one for the country, so-to-speak” Kyle explained with enthusiasm. “The wind chills can be brutal. I’m out there in the coldest part of winter. There is little direct sunlight, the open roads don’t help the wind and my statue gown can get a little damp from road spray, but I sometimes start the day with 3 pairs of pants and remove them as I work up a sweat. It’s all part of the gig”.

These waving statues do work hard for their dollar. They certainly draw in attention and help generate business. And yes….those gowns, torches, flags and head band thingies are tax-deductible.

Stories I'm working on:

• Elderly Couple Confuse Primary Election Traffic for Bingo Night
• Study Show's 19.3% of Northfield Residents Unable to Properly Four Way Stop.
• Woodly Street Veteran Raises Money for Sixth Flag Pole in Front Yard.
• Bridge Square Popcorn Stand Haunted.
• Local Man Tries to Cope with Missing Scarlet Johannsen at Surprise Carleton Political Appearance.

Much to everyone's surprise, including my brother Andy, his landscape design company was featured in "Best of the Twin Cities 2007" in December's Minnesota Monthly. Andy is a 1994 graduate of the Northfield High School. In 2003 Andy and his good friend Mike Hart, also of Northfield, decided to leverage their homes towards equipment and a business plan that included high-end designs, superior customer service & life-long quality. Today they have grown into a thriving mid-size company.

Andy was called by former Northfield News journalist Joel Hoekstra on a whim and was asked to show up for a photo shoot. After a brief interview Andy was on his way. He didn't expect to be included as one of the top 101 Twin City businesses. It was definitely an honor for him to be seen in this beautiful layout. Joel is the managing editor of the publication. I believe their segment on Andy & Mike's company says it all.

Beds & Borders Landscape Design

Andy Freeland, owner
Green lawns are perfectly pleasant, but if you’re looking for a yard with personality, try Beds and Borders Landscape Design. Its staff provides custom designs with trees, shrubs, patios, flower beds, retaining walls, and other features, while paying close attention to technical issues like drainage. Can’t tell a dandelion from a daffodil? You’ll get to see photos of all the plants before they’re in your yard. Do-it-yourselfers can hire the company for a consultation. 6521 Minnetonka Blvd., St. Louis Park, 612-396-2014, www.bedsandborderslandscape.com.

 

As I drove home last night I noticed that many people still had their Christmas lights on. I found this to be odd. I took a detour and drove through every city street for a few hours to count up just how many people were "burning" up our natural resources at 3am on Feb. 2nd. I found that 35 homes were "burning" traditional multi-colored lights, while 17 "burned" white lights that might be considered a year-round decoration and exempt from the ordinance.

I asked myself, why would these people not turn off their lights shortly after the respective holiday. Do they have it out for our natural resources? Did they forget about them? Are they lazy? Or maybe just overly exited about Christmas.

Regardless, I believe sporadic light displays makes the city look tacky. I admit that I throw up a few strings of LED lights during the week of Christmas to join the lighting-collective, but it should be all for one, one for all.

I propose a city ordinance that would ban the "burning" of multi-colored Christmas lights after January 31st of each year. Violators would be mailed a warning letter giving them 7 days to remove. After that time, if not in compliance, a $300 fine would be issued.

All fines would be mailed directly to me.

Stories I'm working on:

• Elderly Couple Confuse Primary Election Traffic for Bingo Night
• Study Show's 19.3% of Northfield Residents Unable to Properly Four Way Stop.
• Woodly Street Veteran Raises Money for Sixth Flag Pole in Front Yard.
• Bridge Square Popcorn Stand Haunted.
• Local Man Tries to Cope with Missing Scarlet Johannsen at Surprise Carleton Political Appearance.

DSC01650

Originally uploaded by timfreeland

Look closely at the animal atop this very old Northfield Cemetery grave stone. It's half seal, half dog. Or, is that a "walorse". That's half walrus, half horse. According to Andy Langhaugh of Benson & Langhaugh Funeral Home, these were lambs before time and corrosive rains wore away the lime stone.

I have spent hours photographing our beautiful and historic cemeteries in town. This includes the Northfield Cemetery, Calvary (Catholic), Oaklawn & Grover in Dundas. Not have I just found a source of peace & beauty, but I have learned of Northfield history by noting family names, birth & death dates & epitaphs. Each stone reflects not just the character of that person but also represents certain periods and era's through the font, wording, wear, rock style and even stone placement.

I'd encourage you to view my collection of photographs. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Click here to view the collection..or just watch below.

I'll be the first to admit that I am a picky customer when I go to get my hair cut.  If you haven't figured the process out, there are really two schools of hair cutting thought.  Either you walk into one of the "crank-em-out" shops without an appointment, any time you want, and get a cut after maybe a 15 minute wait, tops. Or, you get to know a "stylist" at one of the more up-scale salons and let them get to know you.  This usually requires an appointment, maybe a few days out, and you will probably end up paying more. 

Both methods have their pro's and con's.  It's speed and value verses quality and a relationship.  Which do you prefer?  What do you do?  Better yet, can you recommend someone?  Use the comment section below to share a tip. 

Now, here's what I do.  I do like to have the same person every time but I don't like to make appointments or pay a lot.  I get a lot of hair cuts, so I have to watch the price.  What I do is go to one of the chains and request to wait for my favorite person.  If she's not there, I'll either ask when she'll be in or take a rare crap-shot and try someone new.  I always need a back up.  It's good to try new people, but you always risk getting a bad cut.  Besides, the turn over is quite high in this industry.  They are always moving around.  So, it's a good idea to try out a few others now and then.  Is there a better way?  I'd love to have someone tell me who their favorite person is.  Save me the trial-and-error. 

In fact, I'm such a weirdo about this stuff, that I'll take a photo of my cut and label them with a date, name of the stylist, location and what that did differently, or well.  Time to commit Tim to the loony-bin.

Worst Cut Ever.  She was in a hurry.  Didn't blend the shaved section with the top.  Barb.  Cost Cutters.

Best Cut Ever.  Scissor cut everything.  Thinned the top and notched the bangs.  Perfect length.  Michelle.  Heads & Nails. 

Just right.  Shaved the sides.  Hand cut top.  A little too short in the front.  Good price.  Kristen.  Cost Cutters. 

Too short.  This was part my fault but they used the shavers on almost the whole thing.  Stacy.  Great Clips.

Who remember's the good-ol-days when it comes to killer snow storms? The early 80's were the best. For years we were trained to endure long winters that included numerous snow days, routine drifting and the scrolling "Blizzard Warning" alerts at the bottom of the screen. Not any more. Were those times a fluke? A 50 year cycle? El Nino?

Earlier today we saw a rare "Blizzard Warning" close to home. I can't remember that last time I experienced a blizzard. Yes, wait, I can. It was my first year at the University of Minnesota on Halloween of 1991...But I still don't remember it. Since then, the weather patterns have changed. Remember 81-84? It was just the norm to have record breaking temps and snowfall amounts. Those were my first years in Minnesota as a kid. On some level, I internalized the idea that every Minnesota would be just like that. When we have a mild winter, I think, this is odd. But which is it. Are we "normal" now and those times just the oddity?

Yesterday we had the largest 24 hour temperature swing in 20 years. If you consider the wind-chill, it felt 80 degree's colder than the day before. This is absolutely nuts. I'm surprised that we can even cope? You'd think that car tires would deflate and asphalt would just open up and swallow cars. Just look at the tight color depiction of the temp fallout on this map. I plan to come back and look at this post in the summer. We quickly forget just how "bad" it gets when it 95 and sunny out.

Here are photos from the 1980's snow bliss era.
(photos of 1701 Jackson Court. Nfld. 1983)