Story by VIV SAVAGE

Lester Stovold was just one year from retirement when I met with him to discuss his latest release of his course book "Clog With Me. Danish Clog Technique for the Advanced Beginner, Rev 2.4". Stovold had immersed himself in the art since he took up the study his freshman year at Iowa State, some 39 years ago.

"Not having a major and needing to fulfill 3 courses of art, I first took the class as a joke. I thought it would be a great way to meet chicks while getting a little exercise," Lester explained. "I had no idea I'd spend 39 friggin' years of my life wearing these, no-arch-supporting splinter machines."

He seemed light hearted at first about his freakish knowledge of the art, being able seamlessly rattle off 20 authentic Danish manufactures of clogs, 28 world renown masters, 17 clog dance style variations as well as his ability to shuffle of a jig that would put Danish clog star Bjorn Sir Branson to shame.

"Some people work this hard and are recognized on the street by the general public. All I get is an occasional cartoon rendition of me dancing in the nude on the walls of the guys bathroom stalls. This is a dying art it is actually kinda embarassing. What have I done," as Stovold looked down in disgust. "People will go to bars and do that <explicative> chicken dance while some lousy polka band comes off as rock stars. Those lousy Germans shouldn't have all the fun. Would it kill the college kids to try a little clog dance at their favorite watering hole now and then!"

I reminded Lester that he has spent seven years learning to make an authentic clog in Denmark. That he was the foremost authority on the art in the upper mid-west and most importantly beat the visiting Norwegian princess in a clog-off back in 2005.

Lester Stovold finished his interview saying "My book is boring, the dance is not graceful. The shoes are uncomfortable and I've wasted my entire life."